As Jack London once said, “The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.” Far too often we travel through life on autopilot, going through the motions, accepting what is, and having every day pass like the one before it. Everything seems relatively normal and comfortable, except that constant twitch in the back of your mind that’s saying, “It’s time to make some changes.”
My Mother was a true natural beauty; perfectly symmetrical with gorgeous full lips, enticing Big Brown eyes, lush lashes & in her younger years, a rockin body… Blessed was she, no doubt about it!
I on the other hand, never felt so lucky growing up partly because of my heart-shaped crooked mouth and freckles. I can recall feeling anything but beautiful when studying my reflection in the mirror, that is, until I discovered the magic of cosmetics especially lip liner and foundation which hid those freckles (which I now realize are perfectly adorable). Now at 49 I realize these imperfections are what make me interesting looking and authentic.
I’m not quite sure my Mother felt the same way due to the fact anytime she’d see me without a full face of makeup she’d make the remark “why didn’t you put on your face today?” I have to admit my heart sank each time I heard this. It took me close to 40 years to conjure up the courage to finally speak up and so the last time she made this remark, I walked into the room and she said “why didn’t you put your face on?” …For which I replied, “Mom, this is my face, and I feel beautiful!”
by Angela C. Ragosa
by Vera Chidi-Maha
When it comes to the issue concerning a man and a woman, the intrigues involved cannot be overemphasized. Especially when they are both romantically inclined a lot is really involved. They try to impress each other with everything within their reach. They try to look and act good just to get the other party to fall deeper and deeper in love. Then comes a time in the relationship when the man needs or wants to know how old the lady he is involved is really is.
I feel the following article articulates with such precision how many of us as women verbally butcher & emotionally assault ourselves into depression over each and every line on our face, & the number on the scale. I have found myself at times literally crying while in the shower after weighing myself; now how sad is that! It is without a doubt time to stop emotionally & physically abusing ourselves and begin embracing the beautiful human beings we are… I hope you enjoy the article.
There’s never a better time to start loving yourself than right now. Author Amy Bloom tells women everywhere how.
By Amy Bloom
A few years ago, I was at a lunch for the launch of a TV show called How to Look Good Naked. (Do I need to say that the host was a slim gay man and the soon-to-be-almost-naked were all women? Can we even imagine a show in which men try to improve their appearance before the big reveal in the boudoir?) The middle-aged woman sitting next to me almost spat out her white wine. "How to look good naked?" she said. "Wear clothes!"
I wish that helped. But after 58 years of being female, I’ve come to the conclusion that a healthy, positive body image is hard to find, and neither caftans nor liposuction nor photoshopping is the answer.
Can taking one, small step really change your life? Proponents of kaizen think so. (And for the record, so do I.) Kaizen is a means of making great and lasting change through small, steady increments. Kaizen’s practical roots are based in the Japanese management concept for incremental (gradual, continuous) change (improvement): breaking tasks into small, manageable steps.
If you are like me you have found yourself putting off things to do that you know would be good to get done. We procrastinate on exercise, getting the taxes done, cleaning the house, making that phone call and getting our work done. You tell yourself, “I know I should do it,” but you seem to come up with a million great excuses for not doing it. Then you find yourself criticizing yourself for not getting it done. The next day the cycle starts again — “It would be great to get it done,” “I have other things to do,” “It’s too unpleasant,” or “I just don’t want to do it.”
I’m certainly no stranger to controversy.
I’m the spokeswoman for a lovely company called ToeSox, where I model yoga postures in their socks. Yup, you heard me. Just in their socks.
Needless to say, modeling in the nude is a surefire way to shake people up. Our intention was to inspire and show the beauty of a body that practices regular yoga to get people back on their mats.
By Martha Beck
O, The Oprah Magazine
Of course you can feel wretched about wrinkles, jowls, thinning hair—all the slings and arrows of time and mortality. You can try to fight back—giving new meaning to the words in vain. Or you can rise—serenely, even happily—above i
From the June 2008 issue of O
By Valerie Monroe
Everywhere we turn, there are images of gorgeous women, constant reproaches to the reality of us, with our real bodies and un-Photoshopped flaws. We’re not buying it anymore. We’re tackling the critics—from the parents and teachers who favor the prettiest children to look-ist employers to the most hurtful of all, that nasty, catty girl who lives right behind our eyes.
Not long ago, I sat in my office, chatting with a friend. “I want to talk to you about your face,” I said. “Oh my God,” she said, looking stricken. “Do I need a facelift?” (I forget that people think I have a right to be openly critical of their appearance because I’m a beauty editor.) No, no, I said; I only wanted to know what she saw when she looked in the mirror.
What would your perfect day resemble? What would your schedule be like, what would you eat? Would you get dressed and go out for the day to your perfect favorite place, or would you stay in your P.J.s snuggling up in the comfort of your cozy bed? What music would you listen to… or would you have perfect silence all around you or would you be with family & friends or deliciously alone for the day? What would you look like? Would you be just as you are today or would you opt to be 10lb.s thinner or 10lb.s heavier? Would you be in love with someone or happily loving yourself & on your own? Would your home be full of family’s thoughts, feelings & voices or filled solely with thoughts of your own? Would you dance by the light of the moon or enjoy the evening with a favorite read?
Photo: Thinkstock
By Martha Beck: O, The Oprah Magazine
Esteem is a warm, accepting quality, and directing it toward oneself is a fine thing. However, not all aspects of human behavior merit this cozy welcome. Positive-thinking guides rarely draw the distinction between healthy self-acceptance and the malignant narcissism characteristic of tyrants who dominate relationships and households, if not entire nations. Think of someone in your life who seems to have an abundance of self-satisfaction. Now think about the way you feel after an interaction with this person. If you feel warm, nourished, and valued, you’ve probably encountered someone with healthy self-esteem. But if the conversation leaves you feeling ashamed, confused, self-doubting, or invisible, break out the red flags. It’s highly likely you’re dealing with a narcissist. Asian philosophy might call narcissism the “near enemy” of real self-esteem; something that looks like the genuine article but has opposite results. Learning to spot narcissists and deal with their destructive behavior can save you the world of hurt that awaits anyone who mistakes the near enemy for a friend.
Lately I’ve been laying low you know avoiding the places lots of people go because before I even arrive I already know what you’re all thinking collectively and when I get up real nice and close I listen to your thoughts individually and it’s not because I asked and most of the time it’s not because I care It’s that my own transparency is thinner than the air we’re all swimming in and it floats in the water earth wind and fire until I’m ready to retire but your thoughts are also busy getting thinner and just when I approach you your shame makes you dimmer
I stumbled upon this blog (great blog btw) today while surfing the net and thought you’d enjoy this post…so, Enjoy & Kudos to Eden Eats Everything for this hilarious post!
by: Eden Eats Everything.com
I’ve been browsing my old blog entries. Cringing and with a puke bin beside me. And I realized something:
“Holy Googlesex (my new favorite word)! I am obsessed with lists!!! “
But after a few quick blog readings, I realized that everyone is obsessed with lists. I am unique, just like everyone else. So I thought about why we love lists so much and you guessed it:
I decided to list those reasons:
1) We like simplicity
When I wrote, “Reasons I’m not reading your blog“, my orignal title was: “A Few Annoying Things about Blogs That Are Annoying And Then Some Other Shit I Just Kinda Threw in There Because I Got Distracted By Quinoa and Angry Birds.”
I posted it and only two hits. Both from me, checking why no hits. Obviously, no one likes quinoa or angry birds cause I was sure that was a selling point.
2) Lists Are Versatile
Lists can be both pee-in-your-trousers hilarious or very deep and meaningful. Take for example my list of 10 Things Jews Do On Christmas. That is a way lists can be some what humorous. But want to cry from a list? How about Schindler’s List? Deep, stuff. Coincidentally, both these examples involved Jews. Oy.
3) They Help You Skim
I have a feeling everyone reads a blog they don’t actually love to read. Maybe they know the person and just want to support them, maybe the blogger always comments on their blog so they feel the need to return the favor…Regardless, sometimes, posts can be humdrum and a list can make it simple for us to just skim, get the basic gist, and still manage to write a thoughtful comment.
And if you read through this bit without skimming, congratulations! I will reward you with this valuable piece on information about me:
I have an electric toothbrush, but I prefer my accoustic.
4) They Are Finite
They don’t usually go on and on. And if they do, you can skip to the bottom of the list. And like I said before, sometimes what we read is a drag and the end gives us some hope. Its like in class when its 3:29 and class gets out at 3:30. Or like when a terrible movie finally ends. Cough, Gigli, cough…..It’s a great sigh of relief!
So on that note, I better end it.
http://www.edeneatseverything.com/?p=2935
If you’ve failed to keep your resolutions, Martha Beck has a way for you to succeed this year: by joining forces with the people you least resemble (and, often, most want to throttle).
By Martha Beck
Last year four of my friends—Marlene, Ellie, Karla, and Chip—all resolved to get in shape and lose weight. Now, these people had never met, so the odds of their making exactly the same resolution were…actually quite predictable, since pretty much everybody puts fitness on their New Year’s resolutions list. There are rumors of humans who’ve never resolved to eat less and move more, but until scientists discover concrete evidence (hair, fibers, DNA-smeared doughnut boxes), we must assume they exist only in hallucinations of ordinary people who’ve been weakened by months and months of dieting.
At any rate, by last February all my friends had fallen off the resolution wagon and were munching their way to larger clothing sizes and a profound sense of failure. Something similar may happen to you this year, whatever your resolutions.If it does, don’t blame your weak will; blame isolation. Research shows that humans tend to do difficult things much better in teams and groups than on their own. I suggest that this year you seek a specific type of goal-oriented companionship I call the Fellowship of the Resolution.
The Virtue of Motley Crews
If you loved J.R.R. Tolkien’s TheLord of the Rings (or hated it but absorbed the plot because of peer pressure), you’ll recall that the Fellowship of the Ring was a team consisting of hobbits, humans, a dwarf, a wizard, and an elf. Although these species usually avoided one another, their disparities turned out to be essential for saving Middle Earth. The Fellowship met monsters only a hobbit could trick, caves only a dwarf could spelunk, spells only an elf could counter, and orcs whose strength could be overcome only by Viggo Mortensen’s flexing of his facial muscles, paralyzing the beasts with acute awareness of their inferior looks.
When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, you, too, need a Fellowship. But it’s not enough to enlist your longtime BFFs—the buddies you’ve known forever, who think and act just like you. As Tolkien’s story suggests, the key to success is teaming up with people who are emphatically not on your wavelength. This is especially true in behavioral patterns called conative styles.
Post written by Leo Babauta.
You’re in a rut, and you can’t get unstuck.
Motivation is a resource that seems harder and harder to come by these days. You’re mired in malaise, you’re unexcited after a slump or a break, you’re in a dull 9-to-5 routine.
Any of these sound familiar?
If so, you’re not alone. I’ve been in these kinds of ruts, often, and sometimes for embarrassingly extended periods. While it doesn’t happen much these days, as I’m excited about everything I do, I’m no stranger to the rut. I was stuck in one for a couple years once, until I felt the rut wasn’t something I was in, but was me.
What is the way out? How do you start along this way if you don’t have motivation to start with?
I’ve found that the best way out of a rut is with the smallest step possible. But that step can result in more than you realize.
What if that smallest step is to announce a major challenge? In my recent past I’ve announced 30 days of yoga, writing a novel in 30 days, and some grueling physical challenges. In years past I’ve announced that I’m going to run a marathon, do a triathlon, start a blog, give up my car, give up meat, and so on.
Here’s the thing: the first step wasn’t to take on a major challenge. It was simply announcing it. And announcing something is really really easy. Doing it is much harder, but once you’ve announced it, you have some momentum, and you’re committed to a direction. Making the announcement only takes the moving of your lips and some hot air, or the typing of your fingers while your email program is open, and let’s face it, you do those things even when you’re in a rut.
Thank goodness Barbie doesn’t have a strict Mom, otherwise she would be in a lot of trouble. Mattel has unveiled its newest version of the 50-year old doll, which features permanent tattoos on the neck, chest and arm. This has caused some controversy… But really, don’t most Barbies have messy, sharpie-drawn tattoos within the first few weeks anyways?
“The real voyage of discovery consists
not in seeking new landscapes
but in having new eyes.”
by
Marcel Proust
I consider myself to be among the walking wounded (as I believe… we all are)… and if we as a people have never felt the infinite void caused by losing a loved one… perhaps a Sister, Brother, Mother or Father or quite possibly, your Mother and your Father within a span of six months as I recently did…or you’ve not yet felt the sting of personal failure, the humility while asking for financial assistance, or needing a handout of food and/or possibly food stamps in order to feed your belly that’s been empty with an ache which seems like an eternity… or had to ask for help feeding yourself because you’re too sick to lift the fork. We all get a turn if we’re blessed to live long enough and that’s a fact… I
As someone who suffered for many years with various forms of an eating disorder, I often asked myself this question – “do I have an eating disorder” or am I just extremely health conscious, a perfectionist, possibly slightly depressed and overly conscious about food and weight.
